i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
