As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she told me i tasted like america
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
