Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
