in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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