Cold hands, warm shart.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize