I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
