On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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