Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
