He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
