I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
