If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
