girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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