did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
