Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if only i could text you this smell
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
