It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
