11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
