i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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