i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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