I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
