I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She bit a glass in half.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're too hungover to prance.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize