I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
