He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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