I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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