She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
