How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
