Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
