Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
