She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
