You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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