It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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