She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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