I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
