It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
false alarm, still single
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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