I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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