I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
