Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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