Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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