Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
