is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
