Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
