But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
