I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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