She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
