I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
