And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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