she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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