were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
