I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
