Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize