you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
