my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
