I CAN MOONWALK!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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