Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We're facebook friends in real life
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this just has baby written all over it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
