Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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