i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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