Me too!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
