That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
